Space Bug’s LA Buzz
Column #7
September 29 - October 3, 2003
Lines of the Week:
Sugar to Shelia: “You lied to me!
Nick to Sugar: “Can you believe that?”
Deacon to Macy: “Are you in any pain”
(God he is such an IDIOT!)
It was a very, very sad week in LA, and on the island that no one
has ever heard of. (Sad for two entirely different reasons, if I may
say.) Can I ask right now for everyone to please say a prayer for my
Macy? Even if you don’t like Macy, please, pray that she’ll pull
through, just for my sanity’s sake...I CAN’T LOSE HER AGAIN! I’ll
have no one left to watch this ridiculous show for. Wish along with
me that she’ll recover long enough to break up with Deacon and get
back together with Thorne...that’s all I’m asking for people...is it
really too much?
Ok, we’ll get to that later. What was I subjected to that made me
sad? Believe me, there was a plethora of things. First of them was
the fact that this whole kid napping plot is A WASTE OF MY TIME! Ok,
I’m all for having Shelia reek havoc, but as long as it’s realistic
havoc; this is just a stupid attempt to shock us. The only thing
that I’m shocked about is that this has even been attempted to be
done. First of all, there is no way that Sheila could make this
happen. I mean, the story about the ward helping her is conceivable,
but very un-Shelia.
But I will say this plot has gotten much more entertaining with Nick
on board as captive number 2. Let’s face it, who wants to watch
Ridge by himself for that long. Nick is much more entertaining. And
I’ve finally figured out what I like about him, and what I think his
big appeal is to the fan base: As we watch our beloved B&B, or at
least when I watch, I’m always screaming at the characters “why did
you do that?”, or “this is so dumb”, or other comments along those
lines. I gripe a lot about the “cheesiness” of certain aspects of a
plot. What is so great about Nick is that he is an actual character
who calls out the stupid things that are happening, in a sense,
addressing the viewer’s disbelief as his own. For example, all of
his smart-assed remarks are totally things that I state, or ask all
the time while I’m viewing. For example, his making fun of Sugar’s
name...believe me, I was all over that from the second that I heard
it. Or my line of the week, when Sugar couldn’t believe that Shelia
lied to her. His little sarcastic comments make the show so funny!
Yes, in a way, he debunks the seriousness of the situation, but it
makes the over the top drama easier to watch.
Another thing that made me very sad this week was the wardrobe,
hair, and make used on our leading ladies. Let’s go in alphabetical
order, shall we...that way it won’t look like I’m all out attacking
Brooke... I’m sorry, but B comes before M. Ok, what is up with that
tank top that she is wearing? Those ropes have got to go... they
look like an extension of her hair, thus making it look stringier
than it already is. And speaking of hair, I love KKL, and I think
that she is one beautiful lady, but someone needs to re-think her
hair and its length. It looks great when she has it curly, and it’s
ok when it’s totally straight, like Amber straight, but this
air-dried in between thing that we had going on in the bar scenes
wasn’t very good. I understand that it was probably to make her look
more realistic, and I’m sure that the climate would do that to it,
but, please, don’t do that again. And on to my Macy. First of all,
WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS UP WITH THAT EYELINER? Oh my God! Now, as I
said in the recap that I wrote for that episode, I love black
eyeliner, and I use it myself, and I’m sure that I make black
eyeliner faux pas all the time, but nothing compares to how the
make-up department made her eyes look like they were lined with a
Sharpie. Not good friends, not good at all! For stage purposes
maybe, but a business meeting...I DON’T THINK SO! Oh, and what was
up with that shirt she was wearing? I liked it, but it was just a
little low cut, wouldn’t you say...especially when she leaned over
the table. If I may quote myself, the shirt was screaming at the top
of its little shirt lungs; “I have boobs and I know how to use
them.” (I’m sure that Deacon enjoyed his view...PUKE!)
And while we’re cricizing wardrobe, let’s jump a little ahead to the
“diva” dress...CLARKE...GET DESIGN LESSONS FROM ERIC IN A HURRY! In
my opinion, this is one reason why Macy should have stayed married
to Thorne...who wants to wear a Clarke Garrison design when you can
wear a Forrester Original? I have thought this through, and Macy’s
wardrobe has gone down hill big time since she broke up with Thorne.
Must I drag up the nightmare that was the mermaid wedding dress? Oh
good God! And the sad thing was that Clarke said that he’d been
working on that for years! Do we all remember the beautiful blue
dress that Thorne sent Macy to wear to his parent’s wedding; all be
it, she was only in it for a complete two seconds before that moron
Lorenzo made her take it off. Now that was a beautiful dress...
un-like this garbage that Clarke has been giving her... the thought
was nice, but I would treat that as a “thanks, but no thanks”, and
have Eric Forrester on my speed-dial. And the pony tail? Save us
all! Ok, so when Bobbie was donning hair extensions before the car
accident three years ago, I was all “hurray for the hair
extensions”, because I thought that they did look very good. But
this pony tail totally made her look like “I dream of Jeannine”. Let
me just say: the last time that Brad tried to kill my Macy, she
looked beautiful, wearing that really pretty light pink strapless
dress, (obviously not designed by Clarke... it was probably a
Forrester actually cause she was still married to Thorne at the
time), with her cute curly hair extensions. It was a great “last
picture of Macy”. But if she dies now, and I have to remember her
wearing the “diva” dress with the Barbara Eden pony tail, I’m not
going to be very happy...I will be even more upset!
Now, on to more pressing matters. I really think that all of my
readers should pitch in a buy me a years’ supply of barf bags...the
kind that they have in airplanes so that I can have one on hand
every time that I have to watch Deacon and Macy make out or have
sex. (Hopefully my need for barf bags will decrease, but I’ll let
you know). That was just sick! IT IS TORTURE FOR ME TO WATCH MACY OR
THORNE WITH OTHER PEOPLE! *Bridge fans, I now know, understand, and
appreciate how hard it was for you to watch Ridge with Taylor for
all of those years. Oh, and let’s comment on the necklace that Mr.
Sharpe gave Ms. Alexander. It was a very nice thought, but it goes
along the same line as Clarke’s dresses: “thanks, but no thanks”.
Ok, it looked like something that he won out of a grabber machine
while he took the kid to the arcade. So not cool dude, so not cool!
And perhaps the saddest part of all of this week: THERE WAS NO
HUGGING OF THE THORNE! MACY HUGGED DARLA, BUT NOT THORNE! WHY WAS
THERE NO HUGGING OF THE THORNE? I WOULD HAVE HUGGED THE THORNE! WHY
DIDN’T MACY HUG THE THORNE?! Ok, while she was hugging Darla, it
looked like she was giving Thorne a look that said: “I almost
forgive, and I would hug you, but my current and insecure husband is
standing right over there”, but that was not good enough. THIS COULD
BE HER LAST CHANCE TO HAVE HUGGED THE THORNE, AND SHE DIDN’T TAKE
IT!
Ok, it is now time to discuss the “show”. Bobbie certainly has great
pipes, doesn’t she? Although, I almost fell off of my bed when she
started singing Carol King’s “I Feel the Earth Move”... I was not
laughing at my precious Bobbie, but at the shear irony...come on
people...”I feel the sky tumbling down”? Ok, maybe it’s the English
major in me, but I found it hilarious. And I hate “The Greatest Love
of All”, but Bobbie sounded a hell of a lot better than Miss
Whitney. If I have to hear, I’d take Bobbie’s rendition any day over
that of Ms. Houston. (I’m not knocking Whit; she’s a great
performer, but I LOVE BOBBIE OH SO MUCH MORE!). And might I say
Macy: When an object comes falling down upon you...next time...TRY
TO GET OUT OF THE WAY! DON’T JUST STAND THERE! And Thorne...ever the
quick one...HE WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE. HE MADE LIKE HE WAS GOING TO
DO SOMETHING, AND THEN DIDN’T...ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUSH HER, BUT
HE DIDN’T! Why do you ask...CUZ HE’S A MORON!
But, speaking of morons, no one takes the cake more than Mr. Sharpe.
I can not believe that he asked Macy in the ambulance: “Honey, are
you in any pain”... please, someone needs to tell me that I heard
that wrong, though I think that it’s doubtful. No Deacon! She
doesn’t feel a freaking thing! A CHANDELIEAR ONLY FELL ON HER HEAD!
She feels great, never better! HE IS THE BIGGEST MORON EVER! Ok, as
far as stupid idiots go, Deacon is really giving Ridge a run for his
money here.
Again, in closing, let’s say a prayer for my Macy, and hope that she
comes out of this OK. I know that she’s not everyone’s favorite, but
please, keep my sanity in mind...I can’t lose her twice! That’s not
good... and I can’t lose her when she’s not married to Thorne, or
wearing a not so great outfit! I can’t even take the fact that I
might be losing her again seriously because it seems so unreal...I
JUST GOT HER BACK, DAMN IT! So, all I’m asking is that you keep my
precious Macy in your thoughts...perhaps the fact that I’m asking
you to pray for the well being of a fictional character is the
saddest part of all...LOL!
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